If you were to be totally honest, would you say that you really and truly like yourself?
Or do you often do things to appear like you like yourself? Do you look in the mirror and say hey that person, yeah i like them ?
Its okay if you don't it takes time patience and a lot of dedication to even just like ones self let alone love.
The first step is to:
1. Realize your thoughts of self:
Dont be so hard on yourself quiet the inner voice that critiques you constantly its time to put baby in a corner your thoughts are the catalyst that lead to unwanted behaviors and lowering your view of self because you have a perception of what you "should" be its okay if you fall short, your human we make mistakes we aren't perfect even if our thoughts tell us we should be. So in order to combat that little mean voice of self doubt and critical thinking you have to battle them with counter active thoughts or even questions. If your brain starts to think negatively ask yourself Should i be saying this about myself? Is this a kind view of self? Does this make me feel good inside? I'm pretty certain the answer to all these questions are No and by recognizing these traps your setting for yourself you will be able to start refraining using these statements and counter them positive statements about self.
2. Accepting Trauma
Remember that part of healing is realizing that you are not responsible for your victimization. There is no one on this earth who is perfect. Some of us confuse self love with endless positivity and endless optimism forgetting we are human and its okay to show emotion or in this case accepting the pain and the trauma that has been opposed on us in life the truth is that endless optimism is a giant lie and your lying to a part of yourself, don't ignore the needs of the trauma you have experienced, ignoring these realities eats us up and forces us to shut down spiritually and mentally. So please allow yourself to be honest with who you are forgive yourself for your past mistakes and the things you are ashamed of please accept that you are sometimes a harborer of negative emotions its okay to be human we are meant to feel we are meant to make mistakes but learning from them sets us apart healing sets us apart the act of change and acceptance sets us apart.
3. Self Esteem building blocks
You might find yourself saying
"My self esteem has almost disappeared.... I don't know how to interact with people anymore and find it hard to enjoy the things that I like"
This is where taking a look at self comes in handy why do you feel this way ? when did you start feeling this way ? and how can you fix feeling this way? Remember that you have the right to feel good about who you are. It might feel as if changing things will be difficult, but there are lots of things you can try to improve your self part by part by just trying to understanding what self esteem means to you. You might realize you're basing your sense of self-worth on things that aren't useful or helpful for you.
Challenge the unkind thoughts about yourself.
Say positive things to yourself
I. It might feel really strange at first, but you'll feel more
comfortable the more you do it.
Get back to the activities you love one thing at a time
4.Mantra/chant
Create your own mantra which is a chant that you can do either out loud or in your head it is a message that you repeat to yourself to help you think positively.
Like i say:
"you are loved you have beauty only you can look back at yourself and be satisfied not anybody else so hold yourself close and love as much as you can because it starts with you"
Try to come up with one that works for you it wont be easy at first but it takes 21 days to form a habit.
5.Look after yourself
Eat Properly
Get enough sleep
Celebrate your successes
Write a list of things you like about yourself
Practice saying no your mental and you come first !
Don't take too much on setting boundaries is important
Spend time outside.
Accept compliments its okay to feel beautiful.
Give it time everything takes time to set in
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